A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Rehab

Seeking help for alcoholism…. You know you should do something about your increasing alcohol consumption, but there are so many reasons to put off trying Rehab, aren’t there?

At Private Alcoholism Rehab Clinics across the country the vastly experienced personnel have heard it all: the excuses people ring up and give (or send via e-mail) for not turning up for the first day of their Treatment Programme, that is.

Clinics in Surrey, Hampshire, Somerset, Wiltshire, Dorset, Scotland, and at other locations across the country, offer:

  • Full Residential Care
  • Day Patient Care
  • Outpatient Treatment Services
  • Extended Residential Care, and
  • Intervention Assistance

All Clinics are staffed by highly trained, multi-disciplinary teams of dedicated professionals who are passionate about making a difference. They’re not run by gullible folk who are easily fooled by excuses like these:

I can’t come to Rehab after all because:

“My hair’s wet.”
“My budgie has a rash.”
“I might be getting married.”
“I’m having my nails done.”
“I have to drive my granny to needlepoint class across the road from her retirement flat.”
“They’re repeating Eldorado on Channel 5!”
And the all-time classic in the pantheon of excuses for not turning up to Rehab:

I was en route to the Clinic, but then it suddenly dawned on me that I’d left the fridge on.

Such quickly made excuses are outlandish, outrageous, out-and-out bunkum; but worse for Clinic professionals are the hour-long phone calls from Rehab ‘cancellers’.

It’s true: Britain’s functioning alcoholics numbering hundreds of thousands nationwide, by the way are probably the best in the world when it comes to offering detailed explanations, nay, myopically boring, elongated justifications (replete with effusive apologies) in response to polite phone calls from Clinic Consultants and Therapists enquiring as to their whereabouts on that all-important Treatment Programme day one.

And let’s not forget the bolters
Ah yes, the bolters: Britain’s hidden drinkers who decide after a couple of days at a Residential Rehab Clinic that, actually Rehab just isn’t me. I’m in another place right now. I’m coming very close to discovering my inner counsellor. Do you see what I mean? And proceed to do a runner rather than explaining their feelings to Clinic personnel.

Not that Clinic residents are prisoners, you understand you are of course free to withdraw from Rehab at any point in your treatment, if you choose. But some people opt to leave on the quiet, often in the middle of the night!

Prison Break!? No, promise break, more like
That’s right. By choosing not to follow through on an Alcohol Addiction Treatment Programme, it is not only you, the person with the drink problem, who is affected. What about family and friends who are rooting for you and have possibly made sacrifices themselves to enable you to give Rehab a go?

Yes, only you can decide to finally kick the booze (and take a crucial step towards achieving that). But by pulling out of your Treatment Programme at the last minute. Well, that’s just not funny at all.

Get your life back on track
Are you struggling with alcoholism (or a drug addiction) and want to do something about it? Start the process for a life of sobriety


I could not stop drinking, having tried various methods. After making contact with Rehab Treatment UK I was put at ease immediately. All my options were carefully explained and 2 days later admitted to Rehab. Without the speedy response I would probably still be drinking today, Already, the home is a happier place. Thank you Jane for starting the process for a life of sobriety.
B. Middlesex

Thank you to Rehab Treatment UK and everyone at the Clinic that was involved in my Detox. It has been hard, but the fun everyone has made it, helped to make it easier.
S. Hull